Excuses are blocking your progress + Happy Anniversary!

I recently had a deep conversation with a loved one about her goals.  Every year she starts a new endeavor and quits before it's done.  She often finds herself in a catch-22 and then goes on to create 100+ reasons why she CAN'T finish/complete/achieve that goal.  I'll give you an example. She wants to go back to school. Her mind is so filled with obstacles and negative thoughts that she's convinced she won't get enough financial aid, so she decides she needs to get a job to save up to be able to go back to school.  Ok, so she gets a job. The job isn't paying her enough because she doesn't have a degree, which she'll get once she goes back to school, but she can't go back to school without the much needed money she needs to save.  So she quits the job to try to find another one which pays better, you know to save up.  She finds a better paying job, but guess what?  Now she sees she's not able to save as much as she wanted because she has a million bills to pay (oh yea, and we must include a social life, right?).

So another year goes by and the cycle of non-progress continues.  She doesn't realize she's been doing the same thing for a few years now, and I've witnessed and given advice to no avail.  A little tidbit about me, I was stuck in that same cycle of doom. I felt stuck, like I was living in an eternal "Groundhog Day".  Actually around this time last year was when I decided to STOP the hamster wheel and get out of it.  Last year I was suffering from deep depression due to being unemployed and suffering from low self-esteem due to the fact that I was broke and fat (negative body image).  I had no money and practically no hope.  I was at the point where it was give up and die, or change my circumstances.  I had NO IDEA how to even begin changing my circumstances, but all I had was a dream of moving out.  Moving out (I was living with my family at the time) meant change for me; it meant changing my environment, as if on some level that small change would lead be on a better path than I was on. But I was ready for a BIG CHANGE, HUGE!  I wanted (and needed) something drastic.  I had always wanted to try living on the West Coast.  I had only ever been to L.A. and San Diego.  I loved San Diego every time I visited (and it's the home base of Comic-Con!) so I decided, I'm moving to San Diego!  How the hell was I going to get to San Diego when I barely had $1 to my name?  I put my hands up and let the Universe take over.

Well don't you know within a week from making that decision and committing to the goal, I found a 3-month temporary job which started at the end of August and would end right before Thanksgiving.  PERFECT!  I would save the money from that job for my trip.  And the rest is history.  Was it an easy transition?  HELL NO!  It was one of the hardest transitions of my life!  Was it worth it?  HELL YES!  All I do now is look back and laugh.  I love to think of HOW FAR I'VE COME.  And this was all done in 1 year.  HAPPY (very happy) ANNIVERSARY TO ME!

Don't get me wrong, I didn't do this all alone.  I had a ton of support and love, and even better amazing resources to help me really focus my all on my goals.  One of the best resources, I to this day do not regret investing in, is the MAGICAL MANIFESTERS course taught my Erin Stutland.  I still use the tools and resources given to check-in with myself, assess my goals and what I need to achieve them.  She approaches reaching goals in a way I've never thought of or experienced before.  This isn't simply making a list and then crossing things off.  She actually teaches you to look DEEP within yourself to assess what your fears and blocks are BEFORE you even begin to discover your goals and talents.  You are then taught to analyze your desires with a whole new set of eyes.  The way she approached things, for me, was innovative, creative, and just really thought provoking.  Best of all, once you take the course, you are a magical manifester for life, which means you can retake the course as many times as you want.  You get all the updated goodies, and still keep in contact with the vast network of other manifesters.  I took this course, for the first time, in September of 2012, right after I made the decision to move out West.  This course was presented to me by a great friend and sister of mine, Laura Yamin who is the creator of JOYFUL SHIMMY.  She is an amazing individual with a lot to offer for creative and passionate individuals.  Laura helped me (and still continues to help me) just take it day by day and stay present.  I highly recommend these two LIFE CHANGING resources, especially if you're fed up with your current situation and need to make moves.



By the way, have you checked out my FREE E-BOOK? It's called "Greens on the Side" and will help you get started with your weight loss goals in just 5 easy steps.  Check it out!

What a difference a year makes!

I'm wishing myself a very HAPPY ANNIVERSARY this month.  I'll share with you in a later post more about my story but just to give you a taste; last year I was unemployed, broke(n), depressed, and pretty much living in a pit of sorrow and self-pity.  The photo grid above shows pictures of me last summer (top row) and this summer (bottom two most recent).  Was my change drastic?  YES!  Maybe not drastic with the weight loss but definitely drastic with my LIFE!  I did a total bullshit makeover.  I got up, moved across the country and told myself I'M GONNA MAKE THIS WORK!

And guess what?  It did!  I might have gone through hell to get here but it's all worth it because now all I taste is victory juice from my P.I.M.P cup! So I'm raising my glass high because it's champagne and caviar dreams for me baby!

I just completed my first 5 weeks of Focus T25! I only have 5 more weeks to go and then I'm done!  I can't believe I'm already half way through.  Feeling so motivated and overall just excited about the great things to come.  Goals start out like that, a step at a time and then before you know it...complete.


By the way, have you checked out my FREE E-BOOK? It's called "Greens on the Side" and will help you get started with your weight loss goals in just 5 easy steps.  Check it out!

Meat Epiphany

So I went out to dinner with some friends on Thursday, and chose to use that as one of my "sinner" days (you can check out my "Saint/Sinner" tactic HERE).  I couldn't resist the smell of burgers in the air (I love me some burgers), so I ordered a "mushroom burger" with fries.  It had beef, swiss cheese, grilled onions, grilled mushrooms, and raw red onions.  It was so good but because I've become a little bit more aware of what I eat and how I eat, I realized I was more about the cheese, onions, and mushrooms than I was about the actual meat.  And now that I think about it, I've always picked off "excess" meat off of my sandwiches; I'm just not a big meat eater.  You know when you get a sandwich from a deli, they'll put 5 layers of meat and 1 layer of cheese?  Well I hate that and I would always tell them to put a little meat and more of other things.  Or when you eat a Philly Cheesesteak it has loads of steak and a trickle of onions, etc...I prefer all the other stuff over the actual meat. 

So right as I was about to take another bite of my burger I realized, this meal would actually taste the same even if I removed the beef.  Why?  Beacuse for me I like the taste of the char and juice of the meat on the bun, then enhanced by the flavors of the other grilled elements (onions, mushrooms, cheese).  I removed the remaining bit of patty (I had already eaten 75% of it) and yea I can deal with a burger (hold the patty) from now on.  This is great because even though it's not fully vegan/vegetarian, I can atleast have a meatless option when I go out with friends, instead of getting stuck with ordering a salad.

Also just to let you know, about an hour after I ate the burger my stomach took a turn for the worst.  I haven't had meat in 6 days prior to having the burger and I paid for that dearly.  I think it was a combination of the meat and the grease, and the french fries.  It was too much for me all at once.  I had some tea that evening to soothe my stomach and thankfully was able to make it to work the next day. 

I think this is a great way to start towards a vegan/vegetarian diet if you're used to eating meat. You can start by first eating less meat, then eventually remove meat all together. So, lesson learned, and now I am glad I have another tactic to use while I navigate towards a healthier me. 

By the way, have you checked out my FREE E-BOOK? It's called "Greens on the Side" and will help you get started with your weight loss goals in just 5 easy steps.  Check it out!

Vegan Challenge - the first 5 days

So I started my vegan challenge on 8/15, taking baby steps to ween off of certain things like dairy (yogurt and cheese) and meat.  I've already been living a semi-vegetarian lifestyle, only eating meat once in a while, so the transition for the vegan challenge hasn't been that extreme.  One thing I did notice was that I am definitely more aware of what I put in my body and what I'm buying.  I find myself checking ingredients, to make sure they are up to the vegan standards, as much as possible.  It really makes you stop and think about what you're consuming, and how much more careful you have to be when you're on stricter dietary regimes (whether for health or religious purposes).   However, being that I am just starting out I give myself some leeway to stray once in a while, but above all sticking with healthy options.  I really want to make this work.

So Thursday I started out good with some oatmeal and soy milk, as well as a granola bar.  For lunch I did have a vegetable panini but it did have cheese.  I had a plumb and nuts for snacks, and then Japanese fried rice from Trader Joe's for dinner (so good!).  After dinner I had a tall glass of Vanilla Shakeology.  Friday I had the same breakfast.  For lunch I had some Ezekial bread with peanut butter and a plumb.  I usually keep an extra granola bar with me in case I get hungry on the way home after work.  Dinner was left over fried rice and Shakeo, I also had some grapes.  Saturday I had some granola with soy milk, then I had an Indian meatless dish with naan bread for lunch (so good!). It was a frozen dinner from Trader Joe's, but it was not vegan (contained butter).   I had an apple, some coffee, and grapes throughout the day, and then for dinner I had my Shakeo.  I found myself not as hungry on Saturday.  Sunday was a different story.  I started out good with breakfast (granola cereal with soy milk), lunch I had another Indian dish (this time vegan). A little later throughout the day I was watching "Pulp Fiction" for the first time.  When Sam Jackson took a bite of that cheeseburger, my mouth watered.  I was dying for a cheeseburger; nice and juicy.  And since I live close to a Jack in the Box I could have made it happen...but I didn't!  I was tempted but I didn't give in.

I was super proud of myself!  I'm not gonna lie, I still dream about that cheeseburger, but like I said I'm more determined than ever to get to where I want with my health.  Monday started out with granola cereal with soy, I then went on a whirlwind of errands so when I came back I quickly fried up some vegetable potstickers.  I was starving, I don't even know if they were vegan or not put they were delicious!  I then had a cup of coffee.  I snacked on some pita chips and grapes.  For dinner had some Jap fried rice and fried up 2 eggs (not vegan I know, but I didn't want to eat the rice plain).

I definitely need to learn about more fast vegan options to heat up/fry up, whatever, because cooking is not really my thing.  I'd rather have something easily accessible.  Pretty much I have to treat my new way of living similarly to how I was eating before, in the sense that it has to be easy, quick, satisfying, and accessible.  The minute things get too overwhelming or hard, I would quit it.  So as long as I keep finding more vegan options for frozen foods/snacks, I'll be good. I'll do more research!

I don't see myself being full vegan long-term, but I can see myself leading a semi-vegan lifestyle.  I will keep you posted!

By the way, for you vegans out there, what are some good "fast food"/prepared/frozen options?  I usually shop at local supermarkets, Trader Joe's, and Wholefoods.  I'm in San Diego by the way, in case you have specific locations to recommend.  Let me know, and thanks!

By the way, have you checked out my FREE E-BOOK? It's called "Greens on the Side" and will help you get started with your weight loss goals in just 5 easy steps.  Check it out!

Going Vegan

Hola everyone!  I've been going back and forth for a while about Veganism.  I can give up meat, no problem (I'm not a big meat eater anyway), I don't drink milk (only soy/nut based), cheese is a bit of a problem for me; I don't have it often but I love pizza.  I also love Greek yogurt and Kefir.  I think I can work myself up to 90% Vegan only because I use honey to sweeten (I rarely use sugar and I'm not a big fan of how Agave nectar tastes) and don't see myself giving that up, or giving up yogurt.

About 3 years ago I was seeing a holistic nutritionist on a regular basis, and together we discovered some things which had adverse effects on my body and were sabotaging my weight loss.  Some were the "usual suspects" such as processed foods, white sugar, white bread and pastas, and the biggest of all MILK!  I was such a "dairy queen" back in the day! My eating habits were also having a negative impact on my body and spirit.  My biggest go-to foods were: pizza, cheeseburger deluxe, bacon egg and cheese sandwich on a roll, and a big bowl of cereal with 1% milk (sometimes 2%).  I drank soda with everything, put extra sugar and salt on everything, and ate a ton of candy.  Not only was I gaining weight, but I had a hard time having sustained energy and often felt dead inside.  What is it like to feel dead inside?  It feels like you're stuck in a deep pit of sorrow with no hope of getting out.  My brother (who eats wayy better than me) once told me "You feel dead inside because you eat dead foods.  Once you start eating whole, live foods you'll be more connected with nature and feel more alive again".  Isn't that deep?  I never thought about it that way, and I guess that's the biggest problem when it comes to your relationship with food; sometimes you just don't think about what you're putting inside your body!  I know I wasn't.  I wasn't making informed decisions about the type of energy I was putting into my body.  That's what food is at the end of the day; energy!

So while I've come a LOOONG way with my eating habits and intake, I still have more to go.  I still get bad cravings, I still binge, and most importantly I'm not losing weight like I want to be.  I am working hard and eating as best as I can most of the time, but the weight just isn't coming up.  I can be very hard with myself, but I believe, at least for me, food is my biggest obstacle on this weight loss journey.  Exercise is about 30% of what will help me lose weight, the other 70% will be from what I eat and how I eat.  So that is why I am taking my relationship with food up another notch and aiming to go Vegan.  I am going to slowly ween myself off of non-vegan foods such as meat and dairy, and slowly adopt the lifestyle.  I will keep you posted!  Here is a picture of my Trader Joe's haul:

I got some soy milk, Ezekial bread (which I've been told is awesome, so I'm excited to try), frozen dinners (Indian and Japanese), oatmeal, peanut butter, fruits, pita chips, and cereal bars, among other things.

I cook occasionally, mostly I buy frozen foods.  I LOVE most of the selections at Trader Joe's.  However I'll try to prepare more foods according to a Vegan meal plan.  I found some great ones on Oprah.com (a Vegan starter kit) and on Peeta.org. 

Do you guys have any tips for going Vegan?

By the way, have you checked out my FREE E-BOOK? It's called "Greens on the Side" and will help you get started with your weight loss goals in just 5 easy steps.  Check it out!

People on the bus think I'm pregnant

I've known this for a long time and it's semi-hilarious.
My belly jelly is bigger than my breasts, so depending on the clothes I'm wearing it can stick out a lot more than usual, creating the illusion of a pregnant belly.  I avoid all empire waists because of this.
So without fail, people on the bus (and trains back home) feel bad for me when they see me standing up and offer me their seat.  Maybe you'd be offended and ashamed by this, and while I'm not happy about my belly being so big, I choose to see the silver lining; I always have a seat on the bus! And I'll even admit sometimes I stick out my belly a little bit more if I'm really tired after a long day at work and want a seat.  It works for me.  I never confirm I'm preggo and no one asks.  If they did ask I would tell them the truth; I'm just fat.

I've come to rely on my belly for so many things.  I can push things out the way with it, I can use it to hold things up; I've learned so many little tricks to adapt to my situation.  I don't know when it became so "comfortable" to deal with it, until it became extremely uncomfortable, especially moving around in the summer.  It didn't really bother me that people would give up their seats and when I realized why they were doing it, I chose to see the positive rather than freak out about it.  At least they have nice intentions.  But it's also another reality check.  I don't want to go through life as a fake pregnant lady.

I've started to slowly let go of my "baby" and visualize myself without it.  I honestly don't even know what it'll feel or be like for me but I most likely won't be getting offered any more seats on the bus...and that's OK.

By the way, have you checked out my FREE E-BOOK? It's called "Greens on the Side" and will help you get started with your weight loss goals in just 5 easy steps.  Check it out!

Fat shaming and other NO-NO's

I just wanted to put this out there to clarify on where I stand regarding health, fitness, and nutrition.  I believe that everyone has their own path to take when it comes to their health.  I believe your relationship with food and your body is like religion in the sense that everyone finds what works for them and what doesn't, and people can get very defensive (or offensive) when their stance on food and diet is scrutinized.  What may work for me may not work for you, and I acknowledge and accept that.

I am on a path towards better health for me, for many reasons.  First I don't like the way my body feels.  I feel heavy; I feel every pound weighing down on me  The weight was taking a toll on my knees and I needed to do something about it.  I also didn't like the way I felt emotionally.  I've struggled with low self-esteem and at the end of the day I want to be comfortable with my body.  Don't get me wrong I love myself and I love my body, but I know I can look and feel better about myself.  If society has labeled you fat but you love the way you look and you feel great, more power to you. I am not a fat-shamer in any way and I will never try to impose my beliefs and my path on anyone.  If you ask me about what I'm doing and want to learn more, I'll gladly tell you what you want, otherwise I won't ever be giving out unwarranted "advice".

One thing I can't stand is people giving you their opinion and/or unsolicited "advice" about your weight and health just because they feel they are helping you.  I can't stand it because it's happened many times in my life and I consider this to be a form of bullying.  I didn't ask for your advice or judgement.  Just because I may be eating healthier doesn't mean I won't ever eat junk food again; it's a process and that will take time.  You can see my struggle with emotional eating and food addiction in my previous posts.  Also just because I may be eating healthier doesn't mean I'll judge you if we go out to eat and you order a pizza instead of a salad; to each their own!  My life is my own and I'll do with it as I see fit, and the same goes for everyone else.

My purpose with this blog is to chronicle my journey with weight loss and better health.  I find it therapeutic to share my struggles, fears, worries, doubts and also triumphs.  I want to be able to one day look back and see how far I've come.  My words are for those who may be dealing with the same issues and need some guidance, or just want a bit of a laugh (let's face it I'm really funny).  I hope it can serve to help you on your journey!

What forms of "fat-shaming" and/or bullying have you experienced because of your weight?

By the way, have you checked out my FREE E-BOOK? It's called "Greens on the Side" and will help you get started with your weight loss goals in just 5 easy steps.  Check it out!

Gluttony in the Workplace

What's wrong with this picture?  The fruits look great, I got some brown rice and mixed vegetables in the tupperware...could it be the sneaky croissant in the back?  DING, DING, DING!

So there you are, feeling awesome for eating healthy.  You've been sticking to eating clean for a few days and you're on cloud 9.  Then, BOOM...office party!  Or there's catering for breakfast, Or a co-worker brings in some goodies (which usually are evil little sweets which taste so good!)....the list goes on and on. What is it with junk food at work?  I've worked in so many different places (I'm a hardcore temp) and it never fails; always some sweet (or savory) temptations to knock you off your routine.

The food's not always "junk" but they always manage to sneak junky stuff in the mix.  For example, the picture above depicts the selection from my office's catered breakfast; fruits and pastries (muffins, danishes, cinnamon buns, you name it).  It's so hard for me to pass up FREE FOOD!  I was raised in a family which never wasted and it was ingrained in us to eat everything on our plates, take extras for leftovers the next day, and never, ever, ever pass up free food.  And then, there's always that one person at the office who sees you trying to avoid the fatty stuff, or knows you're trying to eat healthier and tries to thwart your routine.  They're like "no diet today" or "it's ok to take just one little bite"...evil!  They dangle the chocolate chip cooking you've been eyeing, or they eat that slice of pizza with the cheese dripping off, right in front of you (evil co-worker picture to the right).  You're trying to be good but then your stomach betrays you with a loud rumble.

I did good today because even though I had the croissant, it was only the croissant (and fruits of course, woohoo).  I'm not gonna preach to you on how to avoid junk food in the workplace.  There are tons of great advice out there on how you should take plenty of snacks and healthy treats with you to avoid temptation. Doesn't work for me!  I'm not gonna lie and say I'll pass...maybe one day if I'm truly not tempted to, but usually I take something.  The piece of advice I can give is to just take 1 "bad" thing if you absolutely must take something.  If I'm gonna take something "junky" I'm gonna take the best and enjoy it like the indulgence it is. I'll take my time eating it and enjoy every bite.  Also I've worked in places that had office parties every other day.  While yes it is awesome that they treat the employees to food, I aim not to partake in the festivities too often, only because I don't want to get caught up eating junk frequently.  I value that I've been able to ween off of junk food (for the most part) and I don't want to backtrack.  

Next time you're at an office function debating whether or not to have that piece of cake (or whatever), first get away from your evil coworker who wants to throw you off track, and then spot that one thing that you can't live without (at least for the work day), and enjoy it!  Once I come up with a better system I'll share it with you.

By the way, how do you handle the "goodies" at work?  And what does your evil co-worker say or do to try to throw you off track?

By the way, have you checked out my FREE E-BOOK? It's called "Greens on the Side" and will help you get started with your weight loss goals in just 5 easy steps.  Check it out!