How do you overcome a road block? You don't!
Picture it: you're energized, motivated, and ready to conquer the world. Ideas are flowing and opportunities are abundant; you are the queen of the world. All of a sudden something happens to bring everything to a screeching halt. Do you fight or retreat?
A few weeks ago I was flying high. I knew exactly what I was supposed to do, and was working on accomplishing some short term goals. I could picture the next three months clearly in my mind, and my plan was all set. Then two weeks ago I received some bad news. A relative of mine was very sick, and in the hospital. The news was such a shock that it completely threw me off balance. I didn't know how to proceed. I literally would just stare at a point in the wall for minutes at a time just trying to process the information. A part of me didn't want to deal with what was happening. I wanted to stay in the comfort of my home and just pretend everything was fine. Another part of me wanted to push through it all. That person wanted to just focus on the tasks at hand and push everything else aside, to accomplish the goals. Both options were completely draining to me. Retreating to a state of denial would just have prolonged the inevitable; that I had to eventually face what was happening. Pushing and forcing myself to work through it all was not happening with me because there was a complete disagreement between my mind and my heart. My mind wanted to just focus on my checklist while my heart knew I had to be there with my family. This was a wrench in my plans, the obstacle in my way, and I chose to take it for what it was. I chose not to retreat and not push through it, instead I chose to go with the flow.
I bought my plane ticket and headed to my family in New York. Unfortunately my aunt passed away and that was also an emotionally draining experience. I had no energy or motivation to do anything. At times I tried to force myself to do things, even if just small things like checking my email, but my whole body and state of mind were just not there. Trying to figure out what was happening to me became overwhelming at times, so I just let go and chose to experience the present.
When I came back to San Diego and was alone, and away from my loved ones, I got to really look into what went on those two weeks. I didn't understand why the energy was not there, why I wasn't able to "solve the problem" or overcome it all, and then I realized I wasn't supposed to. I wasn't supposed to focus on problem solving or overcoming, I did exactly what I was supposed to do by just being in the moment. I then realized the experience wasn’t a roadblock, but rather a detour.
One of my daily affirmations is “I am exactly where I need to be”. If that’s the case, then the experiences I perceive to be blocks in my path are actually not. What if they are supposed to be there? Through the passing of my aunt and all of the inner conflict I experienced because of that, I learned that I have to keep doing what I do and when something is not going according to “plan”, just take it as a detour; eventually I will get right back on track. My “detour” helped me to reconnect with loved ones, to relax, to appreciate my life and gain perspective on everything I have to be grateful for. If you’re going through a detour right now, don’t fight it; just take it for what it is. Take in everything that’s happening to you as an observer, and then you can go ahead and analyze your experience after the moment has passed. So in conclusion, when you’re experiencing a “block” in your path, don’t fight or flee, just be.
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