Right before New Year's Eve I had the pleasure of viewing the recording of "Create Your Dream Year in 2014", a conference hosted by Patricia Moreno and Terri Cole. I was so inspired by the powerful panel of women; their words spoke to my soul. I was on cloud 9. I was still on vacation in NYC at the time and felt I started the new year on track. Then my vacation ended.
I just got back to San Diego on the 6th. I am in love with the sun and warmth. I had such an amazing time seeing my loved ones that I came back truly inspired and recharged. However, I've spent the last few days just taking it day by day. I cleaned my room from top to bottom, which is a great tactic to de-clutter my mind and energy, but after all of that I still felt like something was missing. I've been resisting working on myself and goals and I'm not sure why.
By resisting I mean I know what I'm "supposed" to be doing but I'm not doing it. I fill my free time with distractions and filling my mind with stories to keep myself from doing my "work". I'm currently off assignment, so I have a ton of free time to work on the things I love (such as this blog). You'd think with all this free time I would dedicate more towards working on me and my dreams, but no. Instead I am just feeling like a giant brick wall. I've been in this state of mind before, stuck in a rut, and in order to get out of it I have to take action. My first step was to make a list of the things I've been resisting the most. I found the most resistance around 1) writing, and 2) my birthday.
As far as writing, I have a few projects I'd like to get started on, but even getting to the point of writing this blog post felt like a chore. I had a conversation with my go-to guru, Laura Yamin, and she helped me get back to that place of YES and showing up. She helped me, once again, understand that I am blocking my progress with distractions and excuses, and while I should be gentle with myself I have to also understand that the work won't get done until I take action. Together we came up with a game plan to write every day for the next 30 days. Even if it's just 5 minutes of free writing, but it'll help me break the blockage and become more disciplined with my writing. As for my birthday (on January 16th) I am having a hard time thinking about what I want to do until I finally said I'm not doing anything. Laura challenged me to do something nice for myself, nothing crazy overwhelming, even if just inviting people over for wine. I'm not sure yet what I'll do but I will keep you posted.
A few other resources I want to share with you, which I am using as we speak; right before writing this post I checked my inbox (another thing which needs to be de-cluttered) and saw a post by Erin Stutland on taking it easy this month. I was on such an inspired high before the new year that I thought I needed to start off 2014 like a torpedo. So when I noticed I was resisting creating goals and taking actions, I felt bad about slacking. How am I going to have the best year ever if I'm resisting it? But Erin's right in that I have to let myself adjust to this new year which we tend to fill with so much hope and expectations. While taking a little action is better than no action, I definitely agree with allowing myself to settle into 2014. I don't know yet what I intend to do this year, but I do know that when I'm ready to thrive I will use this free workbook by Martine Holston to define what 2014 will be for me.
Not having set goals yet is a little uncomfortable for me. I don't set resolutions but ever since 2012 I've been working on setting intentions. I am keeping my heart open to receiving the blessings of this new year and receiving inspiration to help me figure out what it is I truly desire. I will keep you posted on my 2014 intentions.
Have any of you been feeling like this?
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